declining baby shower

Can You Say “No” To Your Own Baby Shower?

There are many reasons to have a baby shower when you are about to have your first baby. However, sometimes the pressure is too much, the time constraints are too great, or maybe you just aren’t feeling it. But, can you say, “No,” to your own baby shower? Read on to discover some reasons to say, “No thank you,” and how to get off of the hook.

Reasons to Say, “No, Thank you”

Generally, you can refuse a baby shower at any time if you feel it is right for you. When the baby is on its way and especially when the baby is here you will be given a lot of unsolicited parenting advice. You and your partner are going to have to decide what is right for you, and stand firm. Saying, “No” to a shower might be the practice you need to prepare you for parenthood.

That being said, there are many reasons to decline a baby shower. You might be a generally shy person and don’t like being the center of attention. Maybe you just want to have one large shower instead of several small ones. Perhaps the person who is offering to throw you the shower is doing so with strings attached, and you want nothing to do with those strings. Whatever the reason, you have the right to say, “No.” Just be sure to do so politely.

declining baby shower

How to Give a Polite, “No.”

While many people would argue that you don’t have to give a reason when you decline, we find that it is the more polite stance. It helps your family member, friend, co-worker, etc., to understand that the decision isn’t personal or a slight. We recommend saying something along the lines of, “Thank you for the offer, it was really sweet. However, I find the whole shower experience to be very overwhelming.” Then, suggest doing something with them you would feel comfortable doing. For instance, suggest going out to lunch with those friends. Or offer to go to a tea with your well-meaning aunt and a few of her friends.

When Not to Decline

If you are feeling more anxiety over declining a shower than attending the shower, go to the shower. No matter how polite you are, there is a chance you will experience some social fall-out from declining a shower invitation. As much as you have the right to decline, be aware that hurt feelings are a possible outcome. It is unfortunate, but it is true.

Let It Be Said…

Keep in mind that baby showers exist to help the new parent(s) shoulder the financial burden of having a baby. Generally, you only get offers for baby showers for your first child, so if you plan to have other children enduring through showers during the first pregnancy might help keep your pocketbook from getting too lean. Of course, you are under no obligation to attend a shower you don’t want, but this is something to consider.




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